This song was never recorded by Kirsty, to the best of our knowledge. It probably made it to a demo somewhere.
Denise Gyngell was a member of pop group Tight Fit in 1981-2 (notably ‘The lion sleeps tonight’), but this solo single is a slice of classic pop music. On the jacket it says File under popular: pop satire. Co-produced by Pete Waterman, it really is as good as Terry says.
Also covered by Tracey Ullman, presumably the “original” version: